It's been awhile since I have posted, really because my job has kept me more than busy. Which is good. But I am also salary, which is not so good. Ten and twelve hour days only mean less sleep, not a bigger paycheck. And that bigger paycheck would be really nice right now.
I know that the current economy has significantly impacted many, and in fact, I am probably one of the more fortunate ones. But that doesn't mean that I haven't seen the numbers shrinking, or felt more acutely the pain of my past bad decisions. And it is frustrating! With my job the way it is, a second job is not very realistic (but I am thinking about it), and to add insult to injury, we recently had salary cuts. Thank you, non-profit.
Some of this is particularly hard because I am embarrassed. I come from a family that always makes good financial decisions. There is always researching and saving and a "cushion." Not managing your money well in my family is not just a little taboo. The rest is hard because I am having to accept that there are some things that I thought I wanted that simply may not be. And while it is certainly not the end of the world, it does require a little attitude adjustment.
Another blogger posted that constantly worrying about money lately has made her "a version of herself that she doesn't want to be." I strongly concur. I am not an unhappy person. This is a girl who loves life and laughter, friends, and good wine. The girl who is stressed about pennies, and awake at 2 am with regret needs to pack her bags.
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